This is a self generating team of parents connecting to parents through
existing community parent connection efforts in schools and
recreational groups. Links will happen primarily via activities
outlined in the GGAPP community calendar; such as back to school nights
and parent conferences. These activities will provide the forum for
parent volunteers reach out to other parents.
1. Tell them how you feel: You love them and you understand pressures from school and friends. Tell them you trust them to make good choices and decisions. Children want your approval and by clearly stating your disapproval of using drugs and alcohol you can reduce the likelihood that they will experiment. Send them text messages on their cell phone with positive messages.
2. Have fun with your kids: Make time to be together to have fun doing things you both enjoy. Plan the time and agree that it is your time without texting: play games, go to a movie, shop, go skiing, play laser tag or take a hike. Make it a sacred ritual. Find one day on the calendar every month that you can make two hours of fun happen with your children.
3. Be a parent with a point of view: You set the standards and make clear rules. Enforce them with age appropriate consequences Children of every age feel safer with rules (even though they don't like it) and they will respect your decisions. Express your values about school, work, alcohol, other drugs and sex. Sit down with teens and agree to reasonable standards for curfews, communications, grades, driving and chores at home. Discuss and write the rules and the consequences down together and post them on the fridge.
4. Be their best role model: Children imitate adults. Parents need to be mindful of their actions when it comes to the use of tobacco, alcohol and illegal drugs. Teens are especially aware of any double standard. Going to work on time, attending church, volunteering your time and reading books can all be activities that show your children what you care about and think is important. Declare one holiday or family event alcohol free. Take photos and talk about all the fun you had!
5. Monitor friends and activities: Monitoring what children are doing at home, at school and elsewhere will help to keep children safe. Ask the five W's "Who are you with, what are you going to do, where are you going, why are you going, when will you be home and how will you get to and from?" Write a phone list of your child's friends, parent's names and cell phone contacts. You can call to verify plans, reach your child in an emergency and support other parents!
6. Listen to your child: To feel comfortable talking openly, you your child needs to know they will not be punished for being honest. Listen first. Ask open ended questions. Be aware that teens need you to be available when they feel like talking. Know that you will not always like what you hear. Design a secret signal that you both can use to when you need a "time-out" to stop the conversation to take a break.
7. It really is in their head: Adolescents are growing and changing and so are their brains. We know brain formation and re-wiring is happening early adolescence until 25. The emotional part of the brain works over-time; impulsive activities increase and the ability to reason and think about actions and consequences is impaired. Understanding how your child processes information helps you to parent and to know the damage drugs and alcohol can do. Research new brain information on the web.
8. Be involved: attending school events and conferences is crucial to supporting your children's academic success. While often time consuming, boring or just hard to schedule it is critical to their future. Create a home environment that encourages learning and involvement in school activities by putting up awards, school schedules and events. Meet their teachers, coaches and advisors by going to open houses or parent teacher nights. Contact your child's school and volunteer for one activity in the coming year.
9. Teach your children to choose their friends with care: Children want to be noticed and accepted by peers and that can lead children to do things they would not normally do. Supporting age appropriate activities with friends is an important way to get to know friends and their interests. Tell your children when you approve of their friends and why. If they have a friend that seems to be a problem invite that friend to dinner, spend time with them and show your child you are making an effort to get to know them.
10. Encourage new experiences: Have your child take aptitude and interest tests. Take a class together at the community college. Go to an art gallery; attend street fair or a car show. Explore a new trail on a hike, take a walking tour of a new town, try rock climbing or a new ethnic restaurant. Youth is a time to experiment and explore. Provide your child with positive and constructive ways to identify future interests. Have fun making a "Bucket list" together!
Contact GGAPP for information on sources and research for this article.
"For many teens, text messaging is a primary form of communication.
It’s a quick, easy and private way for them to make plans, gossip and
stay in touch. While nothing takes the place of a face-to-face
conversation,
,
and it’s a non-confrontational way to start conversations about
sensitive topics like stress in school or concern about curfews.
to teens and tweens. " (Partnership for a Drug-Free America)
